Today I lost it

My temper, the plot, whatever it is , whatever you want to call it, I lost it. I shouted at my two year old son, I shouted at my 4 month old baby and then I shouted at my husband.
I became the crazy lady mum. And it was horrible. My son looked at me like inwas a crazy mean lady, my baby just yelled back at me and my husband spoke to me like I was being bonkers, which I was.
And why did I lose the plot?
Truth be told I am not really sure. What I do know is that I am tired.
Tired of being surrounded by kid stuff, tired of changing nappies, tired of breastfeeding every three hours, tired of wiping sick off myself, tired of walking around with my shirt unbuttoned and showing my bra to the world, tired of emptying out potties, tired of holding a baby for most of my day, tired of wiping snot off my kid’s face, tired of cleaning baked beans off the floor, tired of trying to get wind out of a baby who seems determined to keep it all in, tired of being woken up at 3am, tired of being yelled at. Dare I say it, today I am tired of being a mum.

My rational brain knows that being tired makes everything seem worse and that I have a cold and that doesn’t help.
I love my children more than anything in the world. My son is hilarious and for the most extremely well behaved. My daughter is sweet and smiley for the most part when she isn’t being colicky. They are my world and when I shout at them I can’t believe I am doing it. I don’t want to be one of those crazy mums.

So I asked my husband to take them both away and I shut the bedroom door. So I can get it together and reappear as nice mummy who plays and hugs and laughs and kisses. Because that is what they deserve.

How do any of you cope on your crazy mummy days? Tell me I am not the only one..

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11 Responses to Today I lost it

  1. tee2072 says:

    Of course you’re not the only one! I only have one to deal with and lose it on occasion. I screamed at Adam the other night just for standing in my way. Granted, I had asked him to move 10 or 15 times, he was standing in front of the oven, which was on, and I needed to get into it to deal with dinner. So it was a safety issue. But I didn’t need to scream quite as bad as I did. We both cried.

    How do I deal? The same way you just did. Hand the kid(s) over, if you can, and give yourself a few minutes to calm down. I often have no one to hand Adam to, so I walk away. Even for 10 seconds it helps.

    This week has been particularly bad with moving house and Adam has had D&V and ear infections since last Sunday. So I’ve not had a break from him *at* all, except after Simon gets home from work, which is usually just in time for dinner these days.

    We all have crazy mummy days. Apologize to everyone for yelling and move on! :O)

    • londonmum says:

      you are right. I did apologise and felt better immediately. Came downstairs to find that Jer had put Aidan down for his nap and was going out the door with Grace in the buggy. Said he would bring her back in a while.
      What did I do? Cleaned the kitchen ha ha. And it made me feel better too.
      Sorry you are having a rough week following the move with Adam. Moving house is pretty stressful in itself without an ill wee one.
      Can’t wait to see the new place at Christmas and am really dying to see Adam. He is growing up so fast!
      thank you x

  2. Kate Takes 5 says:

    These days every day is a crazy mum day for me. Last week my kids were doing impressions of people they know and when they did me they stood with their hands on their hips shouting ‘Clean up this mess’ ‘Go to your room’. Nice huh?! I want to be nice Mummy too but sometimes it just doesn’t happen. The only cure I know of is a night out with friends and a lie in in the morning…if you can swing it..

  3. Suzanne says:

    I scream on those days too. Then I collapse in a heap on the floor and cry. Then I get up and take a shower and do some laundry and eat some chocolate and feel better. I think everyone has days where they lose it – it’s just a matter of making sure those days are the exception rather than the rule. No kid even went to therapy and said “My mom yelled at me THREE TIMES when I was 2 years old.”

    • londonmum says:

      Chocolate definitely helps. And you are right about your last point. I want them to not think of me as the freaky shouty one but I reckon if it only happens once in a while then I am doing alright. Hope you are getting some sleep..

  4. Melisa says:

    I could have wrote this post, so no, you are not alone. I think when we get to the point where we do scream it’s a wake-up call for us to take a timeout!! I always feel guilty after and say sorry but still berate myself for letting it get so bad.

  5. mummykimmy says:

    Oh God, you are SO not the only one! I sympathise! Remember in the years BC (before children) when you looked at harrassed mums with pity while vowing never to become one?! I had a day like this recently (http://mummykimmy.com/2011/09/27/fit-your-own-oxygen-mask-first/) but you’ve already done the best thing, which is blog about it! X

  6. silenceandnoise says:

    When I am going nutjob, I know I need alone time far far away from home. So Ku takes Bresho and I get dressed up to, um, go walk aimlessly in the mall. Just being alone, wearing nice clothes, and doing what I want makes me feel refreshed. I know you are bf, but even one hour in between feedings away from everything would work. We all have days like that and I am a total screamer. Hey, I am latin 😉 and Ku doesn’t understand half of the things I am yelling which is kind of hilarious (to him).

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