Today I am pretty sure my two year old son hates me. And I have to admit to not being massively keen on him either. Don’t get me wrong I love the boy beyond words but some days I think he might actually have been put on this earth to drive me into an early grave.
He is experimenting with a fascinating mixture of complete bossiness, independence and truculence. A typical conversation between us goes a bit like this.
Me ‘let’s have weetabix for breakfast, shall we?’
Me ‘but you like weetabix, you insisted on it yesterday’
Me ‘ok then I will get you cheerios’
Me ‘what darling?’
Him ‘no cheerios, want weetabix’
Me ‘but you just said you didn’t want weetabix….’
Him ‘weeeeeeeetaaaabiiixxx’ – accompanied by a high pitched wailing noise.
Me ‘ok ok weetabix’
Get box of weetabix from cupboard and proceed to put it in the bowl.
Him ‘ have it’
Me ‘yes I’m just getting it for you’
Him ‘ haaaaaaaave iiiiiittttttt’ – more wailing
Me ‘why are you wailing at me, I’m getting your cereal?????’
Him ‘Aidan do it’
Me ‘Aidan do what ???’
Me ‘you can’t do it, mummy has to do it’
Me ‘stop it, do you want to go on the naughty step?’
Me (inwardly thinking that this is not how supernanny does it) ‘well, you will if you keep saying no to mummy. Do you understand?’
Him ‘yeah’ with contrite face
Me ‘ok good let’s have your weetabix’
And so on and so forth. Oh and did I forget to mention that I have replaced the dummy in the baby’s mouth 15 times during this conversation,
Now I know you are thinking that you can see why it went wrong and believe me so can I. But when you have been on your own with a sick, cranky toddler and a gassy, cranky baby for a day or two, surrounded by unpacked boxes, all the lovely supernanny advice goes out the window.
I know he is craving attention from me, that he sees me constantly with the baby, that he is in a new environment, that his childcarer is off sick, that his dad is away, that mummy is way crankier than normal, that my losing my temper doesn’t help at all. I know all this.
But today I’d quite like to get through the day without having to counter argue against the toughest lawyer in the country.
Roll on the weekend…