Munchkin baby, I want to write a little bit to you about your first year. My plan is to print this out and put it in your “My first Year” baby book in case by the time you grow up the internet has ceased to exist and some way cooler way of spreading the word exists!
I have been hesitating about writing this as it has been difficult to work out how to begin to tell you all the things you have achieved in your first year here with us.
On the 5th of July last year you arrived after 32 hours of labour. To say we were relieved that you had made it was an understatement. I remember so clearly looking down at your little face when they handed you to me and knowing that your name would be the name we gave you. It fitted, there you were and already I felt this overwhelming sense of love.
That love has only stronger grown day by day and sometimes I wonder if it is possible to love anyone more than I love you. That love terrified me for a while after you were born because it meant that I couldn’t let anything bad ever happen to you. It would literally break my heart.
And so our lives of looking after you began in earnest. They give people intensive training on how to look after pets but no one trains you how to look after a baby! It is no joke that your father and I were a little freaked that we had pretty much no idea what we were doing most of the time.
You helped us though. You are a such a good baby, so smart, so happy. I am sure you are teaching us more than we can ever teach you.
Think of all things you have learnt to do: smile, drink your milk, sleep through the night, roll over, crawl, stand up, climb onto the couch, point at the things when we ask you “where’s the ….” , find things that we have hidden away from you, drink out of a cup, eat solid food, feed yourself, that “no” means “no”, laugh, play games, push your cart around, dance, say “cat” and “dada”, and most recently, of all walk.
These things sound like milestones to be ticked in a development book but to me they were moments of total joy and pride. There is an expression to well up with pride. That’s how I feel when I watch you try something new. You are so determined and strong-willed. I think you will be able to achieve anything you set your mind to. Looking at you as you try again and again to climb up onto something you want to I see fire in your eyes. (Your name means Little Fire..).
To encourage you in all of these things is such a honour. I feel like I am privileged to be able to help you on your discoveries and to give you the seeds of ideas that you yourself make grow.
You have turned me from someone who loved to lie in bed till noon and took at least 10 minutes to slide out of bed, to someone who looks at the clock at 6.54am and thinks “It will be soon time for the baby to get up, I can’t wait to see him!” And that’s because when your dad brings you into our room in the morning you turn to me and give me this wonderful, adorable, smile. My heart melts Every Single Time.
There is nothing more beautiful in life than making you laugh and hearing you laugh spontaneously about something. I’ll never forget holding you up to the window a month back, watching you watch a cat in the garden and hear you crack up laughing as a bird spooked the cat and it jumped a mile in the air. You have a sense of humour, my son. You are a riot. I have never laughed so much in my life as I do with you.
You have also taught me to be less self-conscious. Now, your dad is the type of guy who has no hesitation pulling silly faces, dancing and singing all the time. Your mum is a bit more of a wuss normally. But with you..I am sure our neighbours opposite think I have lost the plot. We sing together, I dance you round the kitchen, I pretend to be the queen of slapstick comedy so that I can hear that giggle.
You have grown into our little man. If you have become your own little person so much in just one year I can’t wait to see what the years ahead bring.
I love you more than I could ever write here. You have changed my life.