Today is officially the last day of my maternity leave and tomorrow I will reenter the workplace as that much maligned creature, the Working Mum.
I feel such a conflict of emotions this evening as i sit with my sleeping baby in my arms. I should have put him in his crib already but feel like i want to cling to these precious moments with him for as long as possible.
Which is a little crazy as I’ll be home to give him his bath and bedtime routine plus will have all day Wednesdays and the weekend to spend with him.
Having spent pretty much every hour of the last seven months with him the thought of leaving him for 10 hours seems ridiculous. I know he’ll be in good hands, they just won’t be mine.
He has also decided with perfect timing to get his first cold and have two teeth trying to poke through. So now I feel like I am leaving my sick baby.
On the other hand I am looking forward to my new role and spending time with my colleagues, many of whom I would count as friends. I can’t deny I will enjoy conversations that don’t revolve around poop and purees.
I am a bit freaked that I will have to switch my business brain back on and make important decisions. All the while wondering how my darling boy is getting on.
On a totally mundane level I have no idea how I am going to get myself ready and out the door especially when I have decided to keep breastfeeding that first morning feed. I think there may well be a few times where I arrive at work with baby puke on me!
Ultimately this is another huge step on the crazy, beautiful, rewarding, fulfilling path of motherhood. No one ever said it would be easy but they don’t tell you it can break your heart some days either.