Mummy guilt

Well, after having looked forward to my morning sans baby for a while now I feel deflated after it is over.
I left the house this morning at 9.30am after kissing my smiley baby son goodbye and left him with his nanny. I then promptly burst into tears and cried all the way to the bus stop, ruining my carefully applied mascara (that was a foolish mistake). I just felt so incredibly miserable that I had left him and it was compounded by seeing lots of mums with their babies in buggies. What on earth was I doing leaving him with someone else while I went shopping? I mean I will be leaving him to go to work and today is just a chance for him to get used to the nanny but it still felt weird.
It was nice to have a coffee and read a magazine, it was nice buying a new dress, it was nice browsing beauty products. But it wasn’t as much fun as I thought it would be.
When I got back he was napping and apparently had been fine but I still felt guilty. Sigh…

I really hope it gets easier to leave him otherwise going back to work is going to suck big time. Am I doing the right thing after all?

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2 Responses to Mummy guilt

  1. andrea says:

    he he, I clearly didn’t read this message before leaving the last comment!! I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy your first day leaving baby with the nanny. I think you will get used to it. I know I did. I also feel bad, especially because I “work” 2.5 hours away and would not be able to be home right away if there is an emergency or something like that. I am sure you (and baby) will be fine once you start working. Maybe it would help talking to a mom in your workplace who has gone through this experience before?

  2. Londonmum says:

    Yes that’s a good idea. I’ve already arranged lunch with a couple of new mums at my work for next week. Funny, yesterday I cried all morning then a mum friend texted me to say she was crying because now thinks she’s doing the wrong thing not going back to work. You can’t win!

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