The things I ponder in the middle of the night when I am sat feeding the munchkin are many and diverse. I’d love to say they focus on topics such as a potential solution to climate change and what on earth the Hadron collider does but my brain doesn’t really work that well at 2am. My more mundane thoughts tend towards the baby related and here are a couple of tonights:
Why is it that no matter how much you try to cover up whilst feeding a baby they will always find a patch of bare skin to scratch?
I swear I could be wearing a full suit of medieval armour and Munchkin would find that one slightly defective chink over my chest to get his little fingers in and slice away. There are times when my cleavage looks like Edward Scissorhands has done a nice little number on it, he is that good. I have even resorted to holding the top of my tshirt in my teeth so he can’t find a way to grab it and pull it down!
Which leads me to my next topic:
How is it possible that after you cut a baby’s nails they appear equally long and sharp the next day?
Man, luckily I have got the hang of cutting Munchkin’s nails because otherwise he’d resemble one of those freaky ladies on the Guinness book of Records who have grown their nails three feet long (eww eww eww why would you do that? Don’t get me started on all the things these people can’t do with their freakish nails. I might ponder that one another night).
Anyway, no matter how often I cut Munchkin’s nails the next day they appear to actually have grown overnight. I’ll go in to get him in the morning to find a new cut on his nose or in his ear and feel all sorry for him. We tried mittens but they come off and he’d just gum them to a soggy mess anyway. It doesn’t seem to bother him though.
Which leads me to my next thought:
How on earth does babies’ skin grow so fast?
It’s amazing! Munchkin can have a scratch on his nose in the morning and by evening it has virtually disappeared. Their growing process never ceases to astound me.
Now if only my own skin still worked like that…
I might now ponder a new wonder cream for curing scratched breastfeeding mothers. Hadron schmadron, Nobel prize here I come.